Twisted Monkey Service Plan

Welcome to the Twisted Monkey Service Plan, the straight talk, no nonsense way to keep your motor healthy without emptying your wallet or gambling with breakdown roulette! We don’t do fancy dealership fluff or pretend every oil change is a spiritual experience. We just look after your car properly, turn up when you need us and keep you rolling with honest work, fair pricing and a little cheeky mechanic charm. Simple. Smart. Sorted.

Up to 1.9 litre engines

£349.99 a year

How Much it Costs

2.0 litre engines and above

£399.99 a year

1 x Intermediate Service

1 x Full Service

1 x MOT with Collection & Delivery

6 x Diagnostic Callouts

Priority Callouts (Within 48hrs)

Whats Included

Full Service Includes:

Oil & Filter

Air Filter

Cabin Filter

Spark Plugs (Petrol Only)

Fuel Filter (Diesel Only)

207 point all over vehicle check.

Intermediate Service Includes:

Oil & Filter

80 point all over vehicle check.

What’s in a Service?

Unfortunately I Have to Include the Following Boring Bit but I’ve Kept it Light-hearted! (But Still Very Serious!)

With this plan you get one full service and one intermediate service per year. Not “maybe”, not “if the moon aligns”, not “24 services because your cousin Dave thinks your oil looks a bit dark”. One of each. That’s how we keep it fair, affordable and actually possible without cloning myself.

You also get 6 diagnostic callouts per year in case your dashboard decides to light up like a Christmas tree. This can be at any residential address or your workplace only. Not the motorway. Not a lay-by. Not the hard shoulder of the M1 while you’re sobbing into a Costa cup, I’m a mechanic, not the AA. If a fault returns because your cars got commitment issues, repeat checks do not count towards your total. I’m here to help keep you safe, not con you.

Your MOT will be booked roughly a week before it expires. I’ll give you a heads up 5 days before so you can make sure the vehicle is available and not halfway to Cornwall because you forgot. Simple.

You also get priority callouts, meaning I’ll get to you within 48 hours wherever humanly possible. The only exception to this is Christmas, because even mechanics need to eat turkey, hide from relatives and pretend we’re resting. So Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Years Day don’t count towards response time. The reindeers called it a union thing.

Now the important grown-up bit. This plan covers services, inspections and diagnostics only, not repairs. I’ll tell you what is wrong in plain English, no nonsense, no “your flux capacitor needs recalibrating” rubbish. But any parts and labour are extra. You can choose me to fix it (and lets face it, you should) or you can go elsewhere if you fancy rolling the dice on your pride and joy.

No gimmicks. No sneaky clauses. No offshore-bank-account style fine print. Just honest work, done right with a bit of banter so the world doesn’t feel like a soulless dealership waiting room.

Welcome to Twisted Monkey Garage. Your cars in proper hands and so are your expectations.